Hell-o December!

Welcome December!! Be nice please ok, it means bye November.......including all those memories and the pain in it.

Too much thought, too much pain...my mind is full and it makes me stressed out. Fuck school, fuck jealousy, fuck people who don’t care, fuck someone who let me go, tired of everyone here, tired to be lied to, tired to be cheated on. Lately I didn’t wanna eat. Starving but I don’t want any food I see, I can’t figure out the food that I want and I don’t think it even exist. Some nights I dreamt about the same person. That boy, yeah the one who made me feel like I was nothing... when I sleep, he’s the first thing that I see in my dream and it don’t happen just for once, but everyday. Everyday. idk, maybe I think about him a lot.

"I love you more than words can say"

"what's wrong honey?"

"Idk, I just feel that you're different..."

I got more info and it made me.........breathless

"be honest.....do you still in love with her?"

"no! I love you. just you"

"I know it all"

"I can explain it"

"I love you but it's ok if you do. I'm fine. you're better with her"

“I’m still in love with you,really. I’ll back and try when I know I’m a better man...”

is that ur promise? Oh ok, I mean ur ‘fake promise’, right? Remember? What now? You left it through my head. You made it looks so easy with the way you broke those promises. If only you knew.... I just needed you to prove it, yohanes. But you didn’t. You broke all the chances that I ever gave to you.
When I said “it’s ok. you better with her” it doesn’t mean I wanna let you go, but that was just the things I wanted to say “HEY I REALLY LOVE YOU! She’s jerk! I don’t want she tear us apart! Never!”.....

I can’t believe after all the things that I’ve done to him, he just let me go....

they're happy now. she will love him more than I could

“would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed?...”

I was losing myself to somebody else, but now I see...

And I don't wanna pretend

So this is the end of you and me

'Cause the girl that you want, she was tearing us apart...

'Cause she's everything

Everything, I'm not...

I’m done with November.

Dear December, I want you take my pain away.

"mathematics may not teach us to inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide or to love a friend and forgive an enemy, but it gives us every reason to hope that every problem has a solution"

Just hope you read this.

Iknow I've made a lot of stupid mistakes, but the worst one was still thinking the person who hurt me.
It goes on
everything I've learned about love: it doesn't last.
everything I've learned about people: they change so fast.
forgive me because I'm sensitive and unsure. forgive me because I needed you to say something, and you didn't say anything. can't go back to things used to be because nothing is ever going to be the same again.

just try to keep this 'simple' because I hate having to write such long things about you. you're arrogant. The way you try to act cool and pretend like you don't care at all. it's kinda fucked up isn't it? how all of a sudden.



no reason. no explanation. no words said. You just leave like I never meant shit to you, and what hurts the most is how you made it look 'so easy'. I'm not a different girl. i'm just not who you want me to be anymore. I always customized myself to fit you when it was obvious that you didn't want me as who I really was or who I thought you wanted. maybe we're not supposed to be together. maybe this isn't supposed to work out.

Dear Someone, You have to learn what to say, and don't forget to learn how to listen too...

untitled

I try to let you know. I just can't stand with this awkward feeling. even how much I try to show it, but you just wouldn't get it. you don't understand. You. Really. Don't. Admitting that I miss someone who has changed is suck. Everyday with every worthless word, we get more far. Don't you realize it? You've changed. What's the matter with you..........you are different from what I've known. Once I even asked about it, bun the you act like the same. Like nothing's happened. Idk what I've done. I don't understand. It's sad when ikno that it never cross your mind, you don't realize it......."everyday we get more far" still don't get it? :-(
Even idk how much you care. you don't show it anymore. you don't let me know......hey how come you act like you just don't care at all? This awkward feeling is so suck. Everyday is getting worse, do the same thing and it hurts....I can't explain it all. ukno that it ain't always easy. Never simple. It hurts, and you never care about it. So suck. If you only knew how it feels, I'm sure you never try and work to understand. That's your fault. Thought I like you a lot, but I'm really upset.....:/

T_____T

Tau nyesek gak?
Yang namanya nyesek tuh pas kapster salon yg motong rambut lo bilang "dipotong 5 centi ya dek"

15 menit kemudian.....

rambut lo udah berubah jadi kayak dora maksa. Tau dora gak? nih Dora:



NYESEK YAAMPUN ASTAGA
kapster apa coba tuh gak lulus SD apa ga bisa ngukur 5 cm. Punya penggaris gak sih? mankanya kalo motong rambut orang tuh melek jgn merem terus ih kesel. ffff t(-_-t)

aelahlokapstercinalaykampungnyemplungaelosana hhhhh kesel-_- 2 malam pertama abis dipotong itu gue ngegalauin rambut yg lama. Hari pertama masuk sekolah juga dicengin terus. Apalagi nanay sama si nenek dalem banget ngatainnya gue sampe nangis, dan mereka cuma bilang 'bercanda'pdhl gue tau itu pasti gak bercanda-_- kalo ngeliat foto-foto yg dulu.....ah nyesek banget kalo liat rambut yg sekarang :( Ok ini semua gara-gara kapster cinalay itu issssh oon emg dasar.



jengjeng ini perbedaannya. nye?sek

Dan akhirnya sekarang gue make sampo metal \m/ yg katanya bisa manjangin rambut dengan cadas. semoga berkhasiat.

I miss you, my old hair.

I work so hard to do this!!!!!

Holla. Pengalaman terasik gue pas natal terakhir: nyoba naik enjot-enjotan bebek yg tingi
lo harus tau itu susah banget, apalagi gue make short dress. Mba Ana janji bakal mau ngasih gue ceban kalo berhasil tapi..........ini susah banget. Berjuang untuk mendapatkan selembar uang 10ribuan bukanlah hal yg mudah. Jakarta keras ya..........-_-



Dan akhirnya..... jengjeng. Gue gak berhasil mendapatkan selembar ceban. Ceban doang padahal, tapi sebenernya bukan karna cebannya sih tapi karna tantangannya itu!!

Ehiya natal tahun lalu lumayan seru looh^^ tapi tetep aja lebih seru natal 2009 soalnya kan pas moment kayak gitu lagi jalan sama a...a...a...agajadideh hhh ok lupakan. Seru loh ini gue maen mulu sama bebeknya unyuuuuminyiiii :3







Byyeee

2010 memories. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Welcome 2011! Bye 2010.... I'm sure I'll miss you really :( so much ♥♥ for this year^^ I guess I still remember so much things that happened in 2010.

#2010memories w/ diendevagt oooooomissthemsodamn! 87 idol, take 87 out, 87 mencari bakat, kuda tomprok, ms.Lindawati...wait............"miss"? wkwkwkwkwkwk lol



#2010memories about 01.00 am on Jan 1 he called me to say "happy new year!" olala the last time newyear's eve he didn't call me haha of course, it's because I'm not his girlfriend anymore.

#2010memories on January 3 I accompanied him to buy new some lobsters. I didn't suppose that he's good at bargaining wkwk-_- The last time I see his smile

#2010memories on January 11. 1st month anniversary but it was so annoying. Lost contact. Nothing special. we were fighting.

#2010memories on January 16. It was over. I've been crying all night




#2010memories on valentine's day! we (me, ester, estyfa, & icha) exchanged valentine chocolate! <3

#2010memories new beginning on February 23. He said that he loved me when it was Tuesday in front of the class 8.4 and it was over on February 27. Just 4 days! lol

#2010memories on February 16 I took a trip with my dad to Bandung just for a day. while he was finishing his bussiness, I went for a walk round the town alone by public transportation. I had lost and got caught in rain. Finally, I found my dad at 06 p.m

#2010memories on July 8. My birthday pass. I got new boyfriend, he's my ex. He gave me little monkey doll as a gift^^ its name is "momo"



#2010memories on July 11. Cibe's bithday pass. Me, Ester, Yuta, Criss, and other had celebrate it until 02.00 am! I stayed at his house just for one night. so fun!!!^^



#2010memories on August 24.....Hanaya's bornday= TVRI's anniversary= RCTI's anniversary= MY WORST DAY. We broke up. Back to single. It was so sad to know that you don't care about me anymore....



#2010memories October 3. Mom's birthday pass. we gave a new dress for her^^

#2010memories December 28.... we (me, ester, cibe) got caught in rain at night. damn, it was so cold night but pretty fun!


Hope this year will be better than the last. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I've been through a lot last year. It seems everything that I love slip away